Though I’ve dabbled with yoga for the past ten years or so, it’s only been since I moved to Campbell River that I’ve found a focused yoga practice (it helps that I found a fantastic teacher too!).
Whenever I read about yoga, I’m always struck by the inherent wisdom in what the author has to say, and doubly struck that I haven’t moved to that place yet, where yoga becomes less about the poses and more about being whole and within one’s self and all that good stuff. I hoped that transition would come, but I was beginning to doubt. I felt like I was on the outside looking in on this fantastic deeper yogic world, which, I discovered, is how I feel about a lot of things I do – that I’m on the outside of a whole vibrant world, wondering when, and if, I get to play with the big kids, the wise kids, the cool kids, in that really great place (all of which is pretty dumb, but that’s the nature of insecurities, I guess – they’re irrational and stupid. Which is why I’m done with them!).
Last week, I discovered something. I’ve been beating myself up about not working hard enough for, oh, since ever, and of course, since that is SUCH an effective tactic, I’d work myself into a stew: the more I berated myself, the less I could actually do whatever it was I was berating myself for. See? Effective. Anyhow, last week…I was in yoga class and our teacher instructed us to go into tree pose (vrksasana), which is my FAVORITE pose. I could stand in tree pose all day long! Anyhow, tree pose is a pose about balance and strength, and as I was standing there, in all my tree-ish glory, our teacher reminded us that tree pose is about concentration, and in that moment, I realized that, in actual fact, I can concentrate. I can focus. I was in tree pose, standing tall like the tallest tree, moving with the currents around me, but not toppling because my roots ran deep. All I needed to do was bring tree pose into other aspects of my life.
And for that little epiphany, I am very grateful.