When it’s time to say goodbye

This past week has been a rather rough one for me and my husband. On Monday, we decided it was time to say goodbye to our lovely ginger cat, Alex. She was diagnosed with diabetes back in October, and since then, she’s really struggled. Though we had the diabetes under control, she was experiencing reoccurring bouts of pancreatitis, an incredibly painful condition. And so, it was time.

That’s Alex, hanging out in her favorite place this past summer. That’s how we’d like to remember her.

Since Monday, I’ve been thinking about many things, but most of all, time: how we use time, how we spend time, how we can’t turn back time despite wanting to so badly it hurts. In particular, I’ve been thinking about how I’ve used my time since this whole author thing happened, and if I’m truly honest, I know I’ve haven’t been spending it as well as I should. That really hits home when I wonder if I could have spent more and better quality time with Alex. Regret is such a bitter pill to swallow, because you can’t undo it – you can only go forward and try to improve, and that’s what I’ve vowed to do.

Because of that, I’m rethinking things. How can I best spend my time? I don’t have any hard and fast answers, but I do remember something James Hillman wrote about in his book THE SOUL’S CODE, about the importance of growing deep roots, of engaging with every moment, of being absolutely, positively present. When I’m online, I don’t do that. So, it’s time to see my computer for what it is: a tool I use to write. Nothing more, and that means I’m planning on spending more time living in the real world, and less time living online (I have many thoughts about this – they may end up in a story).

There are so many stories to tell, and so many stories to hear, and so many paths to walk, and so many gardens to plant and cats to snuggle and pieces of sea glass to marvel over…and we only have so many days given to us. I’ve promised myself to be more conscious of how I’m spending those days, and, to the best of my ability, to spend them in the best way possible.

It’s time to put this new way of being into action – no time like the present, right? As a result, I won’t be updating this blog as often as I have (which, admittedly, hasn’t been all that often) – I have stories to write! And the only way they get written is to put one word after the next.

So, it’s time to away. Because, to quote Rumi: “When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy.”

Wishing everyone that very same joy…

Books of 2012, and looking ahead to 2013

Every year, I set myself a reading goal. For 2012, it was to read 60 books, and sadly, I didn’t make that goal – close, but no cigar. Part of that was because I was reading a lot of non-fiction, which I read more slowly than fiction. Another part was that I was reading a lot of writing craft books, and with those, I find I need time to read, digest, read, digest, make notes, go back, re-read, digest.

But, also, if I’m being real, I spent WAY too much time on the wrong things last year. I’m not a resolution maker, but I do think I’m going to make thinking about what I’m spending my time on a theme for 2013.

Now, as for the books I read last year, the following list represents the books I finished (as opposed to ones I put down midway through), and any book with an asterix (a star for those who get that!) is one I enjoyed. But, to simplify, my particular favs were:

ALAMUT – Judith Tarr
WHEN THE SEA IS RISING RED – Cat Hellisen
CHIME – Franny Billingsley
RIVER IN THE DESERT – Paul William Roberts
HALF-BREED – Maria Campbell
and, with extra stars, THE RETURNING – Christine Hinwood

This year, I’m aiming for sixty books again…so, we’ll see.

Now, onto the books I read in 2012!:

* HOW TO GROW A NOVEL – Sol Stein
THE MAID – Kimberley Cutter
* ALAMUT – Judith Tarr
ALCESTIS – Katharine Beutner
IMAGINARY GIRLS – Nova Ren Suma
SALTED: A MANIFESTO – Mark Bitterman
SAVING JUNE – Hannah Harrington
HERE LIES ARTHUR – Philip REEVE
THE APOTHECARY – Maile Meloy
WITCHLANDERS – Lena Coakley
* CHIME – Franny Billingsley
TEN CENTS A DANCE – Christine Fletcher
* THE WAND IN THE WORD – ed. Leonard Marcus
MORTAL ENGINES – Philip Reeve
THE GIRL WITH THE GLASS FEET – Ali Shaw
* A VERY LONG ENGAGEMENT – Sebastian Japrisot
* WHEN THE SEA IS RISING RED – Cat Hellisen
SNAP – Alison McGhee
THE GRAVEYARD BOOK – Neil Gaiman
GEORGE’S MARVELLOUS MEDICINE – Roald Dahl
WAY TO GO – Tom Ryan
THERE IS NO DOG – Meg Rosoff
THE RIGHT AND THE REAL – Joelle Anthony
* A COALITION OF LIONS – Elizabeth Wein
THE INVENTION OF HUGO CABRET – Brian Selznick
WOLF BLOOD – N.M. Browne
* THE WICKED AND THE JUST – J. Anderson Coats
* RIVER IN THE DESERT – Paul William Roberts
EXODUS – Julie Bertagna
* PLEASE IGNORE VERY DEITZ – A.S. King
* THE RETURNING – Chistine Hinwood (plus a couple extra **, because this was my fav of the year)
* DEALING WITH DRAGONS – Patricia Wrede
CONCEIT – Mary Novik
THE HIPPOPOTAMUS MARSH – Pauline Gedge
* HALF-BREED – Maria Campbell
HOW TO TELL A MYTH – Robert Walker
HOW TO TELL A LEGEND – Janet Stone
A REALLY GOOD BROWN GIRL – Marilyn Dumont
THE NIGHT WANDERER – Drew Hayden Taylor
WHAT’S THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING YOU KNOW ABOUT HORSES? – Richard Van Camp
SPIRIT GIFIT: THE CONCEPT OF SPIRITUAL EXCHANGE – Elmer Ghostkeeper
THE NEW PEOPLE: BEING & BECOMING METIS IN NORTH AMERICA – ed. Peterson & Brown
THE LONG JOURNEY OF A FORGOTTEN PEOPLE: METIS IDENTITIES AND FAMILY HISTORIES – ed. Lishke & McNab
BONE DANCE – Martha Brooks
AMELIA ANNE IS DEAD AND GONE – Kat Rosenfield
A MONSTER CALLS – Patrick Ness
* RELATIVES WITH ROOTS – Leah Maria Dorion
THE GATHERING: STONES FOR THE MEDICINE WHEEL – Gregory Scofield
THE BOOK OF THREE – Lloyd Alexander
THE CLOUD ROADS – Martha Wells

And, while I’m at it: a huge thank you to everyone out there for all your support this past year. Bringing SHADOWS CAST BY STARS into the world was one of the most challenging things I’ve ever done, and 2012, for me, was a year of struggle. It would have been a whole lot more struggly if it weren’t for the well wishes, kind reviews, and general support from my friends, readers, and family. Thank you so much for that.

And, before I go, today’s walk took me down to the oceanside, where I saw this beauty:

Revising? Then check out “Fix-It Fridays”!

My good friend, Shari Green, has been running a Fix-It Friday feature on her blog, and today is my day to share a revision tip! Check it out here!

And, while you’re over there, I highly recommend checking out the other Fix-It Friday posts – lots of great stuff from great writers.

When serendipity strikes

(dunno why, but in my head, Julie Andrews was singing the title to this blog post…)

So. I am a believer in serendipity. I am not always serene with serendipity, but I do believe that things happen when they supposed to. Though sometimes, the things we need most drop into our laps at the oddest times.

I’ve had such a happening. Yesterday, I went down at our local Métis office as I’m starting to research a new project and I’m having a hard time finding the right research material. So, I thought they might be able to help me out. I got to talking with the woman at the office about some stuff that’s going on right now, and she said to me: You haven’t read HALF-BREED, have you?

HALF-BREED is a book by Maria Campbell, a renowned Canadian scholar of Métis history and culture. I’ve known about HALF-BREED for years, as it’s one of the most widely taught books in Canadian literature, but for some reason, I hadn’t read it. Time to fix that. I sat down with it last night, and drank it in, laughing sometimes, and crying sometimes, and sometimes, both. Every reason I had for writing SHADOWS CAST BY STARS is in this book. Much of my own story is in this book. Much of Cass’s is, too.

After I finished reading HALF-BREED, I spent a bit of time reading about it. Here’s one of the things I came across, published by the First Nations Drum newspaper:

Campbell says that throughout this suffering she was sustained in spirit by her Cree great-grandmother Cheechum who gave her confidence in herself and in her people, confidence she needed to survive and to thrive. As a child she dealt with discrimination from both whites and full-blooded Indian neighbors because of her Metís, or “half-breed” heritage. Halfbreed recounts the first thirty-three years of her life and depicts the discrimination and racism she and her people endured. In the introduction to that book, Campbell says, “I write this for all of you, to tell you what it is like to be a Halfbreed woman in this country. I want to tell you about the joys and sorrows, the oppressing poverty, the frustrations and the dreams.”

And, from the very last page of HALF-BREED:

For these past couple of years, I’ve stopped being the idealistically shiny-eyed young woman I once was. I realize that an armed revolution of Native people will never come about; even if such a thing were possible what would we achieve? We would only end up oppressing someone else. I believe that one day, very soon, people will set aside their differences and come together as one. Maybe not because we love one another, but because we will need each other to survive. Change will come because this time we won’t give up. There is growing evidence of that today.”

I’ve been meaning to write about being Métis for a while now, and will, one of these days, when I feel I’ve got the right words to express what I really want to say (that old adage of two ears/one mouth has really struck home lately). Until then, if you’re interested about Métis culture, history, and what it means to be Métis (and what it means to be human!) in all its facets, then this book, in my opinion, is a very good place to start.

My heart feels very open this morning, even thought it’s raining there. This is what I know. Sometimes, this is all I know.

I wanted to include a photo with this post, and when I went looking through the ones I have, this is the one that seemed right, so here it is.

Give a little bit…

To the tune of “I’ve been working on the railroad”:

I’ve been working on my website (yes, I sang that out loud!), and I’ve been thinking ’bout things!

Things like the stuff in this video, which I can’t embed for some reason, so here’s the link. Trust me: it’s worth watching, especially if you’re feeling the need to find a little hope these days.

Awesome video linky!

Yep. This. So much this!

(Also, what’s with the scuba gear, dudes?)

Hope everyone’s had a great weekend….peace out!

In which I post an update about things that need updating

Reasons why I have not updated my blog recently:

1. I’ve been sick with a rotten, horrible, yucky cold. Still coughing, but the worst is over, I think. I hope.

2. Despite Le Cold/Plague, I’ve been working on finishing up my middle grade project. The latter half needed a complete rehaul, and, in my typical fashion, I had to wait and wait and wait for the solution to show up. Finally, it did, and I rewrote that latter half in four days. This is how I operate. I don’t suggest anyone tries it.

3. Fall has finally arrived. I love fall. I am happy. Later today, I’m going for a walk in the rain, and I might swish leaves.

4. I’ve got some SHADOWS CAST BY STARS related-news, but I can’t share….not yet. But, soon, I hope!

5. Next week, I’ll be visiting Timberline and Carihi high schools in Campbell River, and doing a signing at Coho Books, and also meeting up with a local librarian to discuss setting up some teen programming. Exciting! Nervous-making, but also, exciting!

6. Updates will continue to be scarce, because once I’ve handed the middle grade project off to my eyeballers and agent, I’ll be diving into rewrites for my Scheherezade-inspired project…which looks nothing like it once did, but that’s good.

And on that note, here’s a little Scheherzade of the Rimsky-Korsakov variety, just because! Enjoy!

A little good news!

Gotta love it when my work day begins with my editor sending me a nice review of SHADOWS CAST BY STARS. From School Library Journal:

Two hundred years in the future, 16-year-old Cassandra, a Métis Indian with mysterious gifts, lives with her twin brother and father in the Pacific Northwest. A plague has killed off much of the population, but Others, people of aboriginal descent, have special antibodies that protect them from the disease. The blood of one Native American can save many other people; because of this, the government is hunting them. Cassandra and her family have managed to survive under these conditions while living by “the Old Way,” but when the plague returns, they flee for The Island, a protected space where Indians (of many different tribes and backgrounds) are able to live together safely. There Cassandra’s abilities quickly earn her an apprenticeship to the local healer and the attentions of the chief’s son, Bran. Unsurprisingly, the peace of the Island is short-lived and Cassandra must play a part in keeping her community safe. The feel of the story is far more fantasy than dystopian. The Island is a richly drawn setting and the Native American imagery feels authentic (the author is, herself, a member of the Métis tribe). Cassandra is a strong character, much more concerned with survival than with romance–though there is a romantic subplot. This is a good title to give to fantasy readers who like novels with tough female leads.

Yay for that!

And now, since the last of our summer visitors has departed and Olympic dressage has wrapped up (and how! Left me feeling all proud of how the sport is changing for the better, and motivated to get back on horse as soon as I can), it’s time to down-periscope into work. Yay work! Really! It’s been a while since I’ve felt enthused about my writing, but I am, and it feels great!

So, down-periscope on three, two, one….

A Cat’s Life

Our wee orange kitty, lounging in the garden.

Hope everyone’s Saturday is as relaxing and sunny!

Summer visitors, and a quick update

Things have been a wee bit quiet here on the blog, so I thought I’d share a photo I snapped when I arrived home today:

Summer visitors!

Right now, we’re between human-variety visitors at our house, which has left us a narrow window of opportunity to paint. The painting should be done in the next couple of days, just before more visitors arrive, and then, it’s back to work for me. Fortunately, I’ve found my groove on a couple of things I’ve been working on. Or, what Ursula le Guin (and Virginia Woolf before her) might call rhythm. It’s a long process, waiting for that rhythm to arrive — a long, uncomfortable, twitchy process. But it’s part of my process and I’m slowly coming to terms with it.

But, more about that later. For now, I’m trying to catch up on email while I wait for a coat of paint to dry.

Oh, and on a completely non-SHADOWS CAST BY STARS note, I’ve got a story in the current issue of ON SPEC magazine! Yay! And someone reviewed it, too, which is extra-cool.

Ladybug taking a bath!

So: I have a frightening amount of work to do in the next few days in preparation for a visit with my sister and niece. Therefore, I’ve been ensconced at my desk all morning, trying to get things done. However, even the most behind-on-everything author needs tea, and while I was making it, I spotted a little dot of red in my fountain outside. A ladybug, having a bath! Here she is!

I watched her for a few minutes, and then, when she was all clean, she flew away home.

I am just awestruck by the beauty and wonder of the world we live in. Sometimes I forget, and then, a ladybug helps me remember.