Updatery: the Late Night/Early Morning Edition

So. It’s been a rough couple of weeks here at Chez Knutsson. Our lovely, beloved Alex kitty has been gravely ill, and last week, we were certain it was time to say goodbye. However, cats being the amazingly resilient creatures that they are, she’s rebounded, thanks to the equally amazing care from Alex’s veterinarian. But, it’s been a challenging time as we continue to learn to manage her diabetes (she was diagnosed back in October) as well how to juggle all the other medications that are allowing her to heal from the past week’s crisis.

Add to that a wicked chest cold, and, well, I’ve been down for the count. Today was the first time I’ve been out of bed in days, but due to a nap this afternoon, I’m wide awake when I should be sleeping. Not the best way to heal up, but…*shrug* As my husband is so fond of saying, It is what it is.

Maybe it’s the time of year, or maybe it’s because I’m getting ready to dive back into revisions on my middle grade project, but…I’ve been thinking. I’ve been thinking about what I write and how I write it, about why I tell the stories I tell, about what I hope to gain from those stories, about what I hope to share with those stories, and about the life a story lives once it’s left my hands. But, most of all, I’ve been thinking about why the stories I’m called to tell need to exist to begin with. I’m not sure I have any answers, but maybe answers aren’t what I need. Because thinking leads to questions, and questions, to my mind, are what open paths. Answers, I sometimes think, close paths. Though, that’s what I’m thinking tonight. Tomorrow, I might change my mind.

What I do know is that I’ve come up with a little mantra, once that I was first introduced to when I was doing some horse work with Jodine Carruthers. I’ve been horse-crazed all my life, but my relationship with the horses I’ve encountered hasn’t always been easy. That unease came to a head a few years back when I took a position at a stable and found myself way out of my element – not because I didn’t have the horse skills I needed, but because horses have a way of making us n look at our shadows, and I was hiding from mine. I knew I was in a bad place, and I needed help. So, I went to work with Jodine and her horses, and Jodine introduced me to the concept that story has no place with horses. They don’t care about your history, or why you are the way you are. They just see you as here, now. That’s a strange concept for a storyteller. I mean, I have a running narrative in my head all the time – either my own story, or the narrative of the stories I’m working on. (My brain is a busy place.) So, learning to stop, to be, and to be here now was really hard. And, it’s still a work in progress for me–a balancing act, perhaps, as I learn to allow story to be my work, and not be my all.

Horses aren’t part of my life these days. That’s a bit of a sore spot, but it is what it is. Someone once said that you can have everything you want in life – just not all of it at the same time. Now is the time without horses. I have other work to do. But, I still have the lessons I learned from the horses I’ve known.

Be here, now. That’s what they’ve taught me.

Those are the words I’ve been living lately, taking one day at a time, each moment as it comes, because really, there’s no other way to do this living business.

Be here, now. Tomorrow, I’m applying those words to my writing work.

Be here, now.

Be here.

Now.

Teen Authors Tell All!

Well, look howdy, Lower Mainlanders! (Please read that sentence with a western drawl…) See that poster up there? Five awesome YA writers, all in one spot – how can that not be excellent? So, if you’re in the neighbourhood, come on by & chat with us! We’d love to see you!

My revision supervisor

Supervisor cat is keeping an eye on me, making sure I’m working hard. Needless to say, I’m knee-deep in revisions right now.

This pleases supervisor cat. And like the hokey pokey, that’s what it’s all about.

In the meantime, should anyone need me for anything, contact supervisor cat…

Pants, Plots, and….Mullets

Pants, Plots, and….Mullets

So, in the world of writing, there are plotters, and there are pantsers. Plotters are those diligent individuals who sit down and draft a synopsis, or an outline, or a general road map of a novel before they begin writing a story. Sometimes, those outlines are extremely detailed, as evidenced by exhibit A (being a sample of how J.K. Rowling outlines):

Then, there are those who are the antithesis of the plotters: the pantsers, or, those who write by the seat of their pants. While wearing pants. Hopefully. These are the lovely folks who insert their butt into their writing chairs and say “GO!” (in my mind, they do this loudly and with great aplomb. Also in my mind, I cheer them on).

So, what to do, what to do, what to do when one doesn’t fit into either category? Egads!

This is me. I sometimes plot, but sporadically and not very well. I sometimes pant (err, that sounds a bit wrong, doesn’t it?), but usually end up tossing the pantsing work, only to begin again.

My method of madness? I mull. Or back-brain. Or soft write. Whatever the term (see next paragraph for my suggestion), I need time to let things roll around in the space where my brain ought to me. Steep. Stew. Chew. Ponder. Ruminate. Mull.

And, hence, my suggestion: like-minded folk, may I offer up the term “mullet”. Now, I could have said “I am a muller!”, but why do that when I can proclaim loudly – from the tree tops, even – “I am a mullet! I am a MULLET!”

So. There you have it. I am a mullet, a strange breed of writer ( strange in my own mind) who spends as much time writing about the book I’m writing as actually writing the book I’m writing. Back when I was in university, I had a terrible problem with deadlines because I needed to ruminate and mull and construct my papers in my mind before I could set them down on the page, and sometimes, that process didn’t line up with, um, the deadline. Most of the time, I got those papers in, but the thing was, if I wrote in the, erm, normal way, rather than the mullet way, I almost always got lower grades. And, besides, this is how Mozart worked, I am told, and who am I to argue with Mozart’s methods?

So. Mullet it is. In writing terms, at least. But not the haircut. Never the haircut…

Books of 2011

So, I didn’t read as much as I had hoped this year. I’m not sure why that is, exactly, but my writing did suffer because of it, because, for me, reading=lots of writing.

The three fiction standouts from my list were NOTHING, by Janne Teller, which is a terrible and difficult and incredible book. Apparently, YA fiction in Denmark is a whole ‘nother kettle of fish. Standout #2 was PLAIN KATE by Erin Bow – oh gosh, I loved this book – this is the sort of fantasy that warms my heart and makes me want to be a better writer. Standout #3 was CRACKED by K.W. Walton, which will be released on January 3 (I read an ARC) – poignant, funny, sad, bittersweet – all the things I love in good YA fiction.

And, an honourable mention: SLAMMERKIN by Emma Donoghue. I admire any writer who breaks rules and doesn’t apologize for it. That is my writing motto for this year: don’t apologize. (It’ll be interesting to see how that pans out, being Canadian and all….)

What I am pleased about is that I read a lot more non-fiction this year. This was the year I discovered Elizabeth Lesser’s BROKEN OPEN, and what a tremendous help this book has been! Every creative person (and really, that means everyone) needs tools to swim through the murk, because there will be murk, and it’s murky (really, this sentence just an excuse to use the word “murk” repeatedly because murk is a fantastic word!). And, the other: THE FOREST FOR THE TREES, by Betsy Lerner, which, I think, is required reading for any writer. Like a writerly friend said, I spent a lot of time wondering how Betsy Lerner could have crawled into my brain – she KNOWS what the murk is like, and she gets it, and then, she hands out anti-murk tools. Betsy Lerner and Elizabeth Lesser, I am so grateful for your books. I hope I get to tell you so in person one day.

This year I hope to read more writing craft books (a stack of them is staring at me right now!), more riding books, and more adult literary fiction. But mainly, I’d like to make a dent in my TBR pile (which has morphed from a pile into several shelves) – the more I read, the more room I’ll have for new books!

So, with that, here’s the rest of the list:

NOT THAT KIND OF GIRL – Siobhan Vivian
NOTHING – Janne Teller
PLAIN KATE – Erin Bow
SLAMMERKIN – Emma Donoghue
GETTING IN TTOUCH WITH YOUR HORSE – Linda Tellington-Jones
ARMAGGEDON’S CHILDREN – Terry Brooks
THE GIVER – Lois Lowry
LANGUAGE OF EMOTIONS – Karla McLaren
HUSH HUSH – Becca Fitzpatrick
INSIDE OUT – Maria V. Snyder
INNER GOLD – Robert Johnson
EPITAPH ROAD – David Patneaude
GAME OF THRONES – George R.R. Martin
A CLASH OF KINGS – George R.R. Martin
A STORM OF SWORDS – George R.R. Martin
DIVERGENT – Veronica Roth
XVI – Julia Karr
BROKEN OPEN – Elizabeth Lesser
THE REVENANT – Sonia Gessler
A FEAST FOR CROWNS – George R.R. Martin
SELF-EDITING FOR FICTION WRITERS – Browne & King
ROOM – Emma Donoghue
BEYOND THE DANCE – Chan Hon Goh
BLACKBRINGER – Laini Taylor
ROSE SEES RED – Cecil Castellucci
BLOOD RED ROAD – Moira Young
ILLYRIA – ELizabeth Hand
GRACE – Elizabeth Scott
WILD MIND – Natalie Goldberg
THE FOLKKEEPER – Franny Billingsley
TOXIC CRITICISM – Eric Maisel
DAUGHTER OF SMOKE AND BONE – Laini Taylor
A DANCE WITH DRAGONS – George R.R. Martin
CRACKED – K.W. Walton
THE FIRE IN FICTION – Donald Maass
WOMEN’S COMPLETE GUIDE TO RUNNING – Jeff & Barbara Galloway
PRETTY CROOKED – Elisa Ludwig
MARIETTE IN ECSTASY – Ron Hansen
BRAVE BATTALION – Mark Zuelke
THE LOST GARDEN – Helen Humphreys
MERLIN’S HARP – Anne Eliot Crompton
THE HUNDRED THOUSAND KINGDOMS – N.K. Jemisin
THE RED MARKET – Scott Carney
THE REVISIONIST – Thomas Mullen
SHE-WOLVES – Helen Castor
THE FOREST FOR THE TREES – Betsy Lerner
THE BODY NEVER LIES – Alice Miller
BANEWREAKER – Jacqueline Carey

Revisiting Old Lessons

Back in my music school days, I used to worry about the strangest things (OMG, what fach am I? Why can’t I sing a high F? Do I have nodes? Should I drink milk?), and, if I was ever struck down by a cold or a sore throat or the plague, well, surely, the world was about to end.

And, like most singing students, I’d arrive at my lesson, moaning and groaning about my voice, my voice, oh woe, my voice!

And, my very patient and long-suffering teacher would inevitably deliver the following advice: You’re sick? Then, today, you will learn to sing when you’re sick.

And then, that’s what we’d do.

So, today, when I received news that I would suddenly be under a very tight deadline, I found myself in the kitchen, wondering if I should freak out or not. And, lo and behold, Karen’s voice wandered into my head: Today, you will learn how to write under a very tight deadline.

So, that’s what I’m gonna do.

And, Karen, since I don’t know where you are in the world these days, should you ever read this: thank you!

Gaining Perspective

I haven’t posted this in a while, but since it’s such a good thing to revisit, I figured today was as good a day as any. “Perspective” was a handout given to me by my last voice teacher, and though it’s geared to musicians, it really applies to any creative pursuit.

Perspective

If you can be happy doing something else, do it.

1. No one insists that you be a musician.
2. No one is going to pay you to practice.
3. There’s no job or concert guarantee at the end of long training.
4. Four percent of the U.S. population supports the arts.
5. A musician’s life is not “normal”. It’s a radical lifestyle. You need 4-5 hours a day of practicing or you’re not in the game. The rest of your life has to fit around that pillar.
6. There’s a difference between a life with music and a career in music. Find a place for your art.
7. Art is not, by definition, linked to fame and fortune. Art is simply what artists do. A “big” career is the rare exception, not the rule.
8. “Celebrity is conferred upon on by the mediocre and the rogues, with whom one is then bound to share it.” – Camus

If you have decided that music is your vocation, relax, and adjust your sights.

9. Seek growth, not perfection.
10. Rework your life so that music is first; that’s what your decision was all about.
11. Be patient with yourself. You don’t have the deadlines other people have. It’s your life’s work. “Only the mediocre are impatient; the great know how to wait.” – Pablo Cassels
12. Guard your time. It is the key to your development.
13. Look forward to spending a lot of time alone with your work.
14. Find mentors and supports systems that sustain and encourage you.
15. Only compete with yourself and your last best performance. Yours is a personal odyssey. What someone else does is part of their story, not yours.
16. Get the best information and training you can find. “Genius without education is like silver in the mine.” – Benjamin Franklin
17. Continue to coach with people and seek other opinions.
18. Keep a balanced view of success and failure. The sun comes up tomorrow regardless. “It is nothing to succeed if one has taken great trouble and it is nothing to fail if one has done the best one could.” – Nadia Boulanger
19. Stay flexible.
20. There is nothing wrong with doing some commercial music. It helps pay bills. If it takes too much time, re-evaluate.
21. “Ambition is not enough; necessity is everything.” – Martha Graham
22. Your art will take everything you have – every strength, every insight, every effort, every minute. It is perhaps the most exhilarating and consuming way of life there is.
23. Keep your life simple. Where there is an intense interior life, the outside life needs to be calm.
24. Share your art with others via teaching, recitals, etc. It is of incalculable value and unending personal satisfaction. “You can’t get the news from poems, but men die everyday for lack of what is found there.” – William Carlos William
25. Realize that your gift is very special and affords you experiences others may never have. It is freely given, but you have to pay for it. “If you have a voice, your voice has you.” – Shirley Verrett
26. The more talent you have, the longer it will take to hone it.
27. “Courage is the difference between talent and art.” – Louise Nevelson.